Clickin’ for Kinky

One of the cool things about writing a blog is that you get to check what are called stats to see who is reading your blog, where they clicked in from and how they found you.

One of the most disturbing things about writing a blog is what you sometimes learn from these stats. Lately I’ve noticed a trend that, quite honestly, has traumatized me just a little bit. Now, before I launch into my tirade, let me just state for the record: I am not a prude. I can handle the tawdry stuff on TV, I don’t mind the cussing (as you will clearly know if you read this blog from time to time), and obviously I don’t have a problem with sex since I have two kids and it appears Mr. Punkernoodle is a reasonably happy man.

Ok. Now. This post is for the ladies who have — accidentally, I can only assume — arrived at my blog, or our website, after having entered certain search words into Google. Those search words being any and all variations on this theme:

  • Diaper my husband
  • Husband in diapers
  • Husband diapers
  • Diapering husband

You get the drift. Now, given the frequency (people are actually searching these terms DAILY), I don’t think these women are married to men who are paralyzed or are 95 years old, knocking around an old-age condominium and just not making it to the bathroom in the middle of the night any more.  Nope. After thinking long and hard about it (I tried denial at first) I have come to the unavoidable truth: THESE PEOPLE ARE KINKY. There. I said it. Let me put it another way: There are apparently some men and possibly women out there who think the concept of a grown man using a diaper, FOR FUN, is sexy. Or hot. Or something. I’m no Violetta Valéry, but I think we’re talking fetish here.

So, the point of my post – the very important message that I need to share to these women searching out this concept on Google – is this (please read closely, ladies):

YOU. DON’T. HAVE TO. DO THIS.

Maybe you have never changed a real diaper. So maybe you don’t realize the simple fact that THERE IS NOTHING SEXY ABOUT HUMAN WASTE. It is not hot. It is not like skulking into your local adult toy shop and picking up a “joke” pair of crotchless panties for Valentine’s Day or a chocolate dildo for your girlfriend’s bachelorette party.

Furthermore, think about this: If this is what he’s into now, what’ll it be next? Sex in the back of a pickup while racing down the interstate? Getting busy live on YouTube? This????

I’m sure most of you ladies are respectable, attractive, independent women who really don’t need to diaper a grown man in order to feel loved. For the others, please – grow a spine. Say no. Erase your Internet page history off your computer. Google a marriage counselor in your neighborhood. Sign up for a pole dancing aerobics class and start filling out that divorce paperwork.

Feel free to visit us again when you actually have a baby and are looking for some real diapers, no size XXXL allowed. Then I will truly be happy to help.

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